This is written to remind.

Because some things are worth remembering.

And some things I’ll never forget.

Like her lips, soft as French Merlot after a hard day at the office, pink as a sun-baked horizon drunk off an afternoon rain. Or her eyes, green and round as grapes in the morning light. Or her arms, like a good nights sleep embracing my weary frame.

Some things I’ll never forget.

* * *

“That color of the sky,” she said, eyes staring upward, “is the color of true love.”

“I could live and die to that color and not mourn a day in between,” she gently whispered from the passenger seat beside me. And she asked, “Have you ever seen color like that?”

I looked up from the road in front of us and quietly agreed with her assessment. It was quite beautiful, and no, I had never seen a sky hold such color. And somewhere between lavender and teal, red and indigo, Los Angeles and San Francisco, I began to fall in love with her detailed understanding of her own lack of understanding, of wonder and fascination.

And it wasn’t so much the color of the sky that changed me forever, but her honest acceptance of mystery that so intrigued and caught me by surprise. Never before had I met someone with the audacity to revel and rest in the unknown, question everything, and hold on for dear life as she journeyed through desert and vineyard, cafe and savannah, canyon and ocean floor. All that summer the unknown grew upon us like ivy, and we could do nothing but try each day to enjoy the ride more than we did the day before.

* * *

On a quiet evening in the Appalachians, you can watch the breeze paint clouds upon the sky, push contrast against the contour of mountains and texture along the curve of the setting sun. On a good day in the mountains, everything is mysterious and wonderful and curious. And on any given night, you can hear everything important in the world and still be engulfed in silence. You can gaze into the faces of trillions of stars billions of light years away and still be pushed to your knees by the heaviness of the heavens.

“I think we’ve been invited to the greatest show on earth,” I whisper to her beneath the deep, purple sky of Appalachia, layer upon layer of stars accentuating the curve of her face resting on my shoulder. And she glances upward, folds my arm inside both of hers and quietly agrees.

And beauty takes on a whole new meaning when surrounded by great mystery.

* * *

And no matter how hard magazines, TV and the internet work to convince us that a beautiful woman is what they say she is, their attempts fail in comparison to the mystery of the sky and the women we actually love. And the blunt beauty streaming from the runway and advertising screens is flat and construed and unreal and tortured and twisted until it’s exactly what greedy media players want it to be. And they sell and sell and sell and push and push and push until we believe what they want us to believe and buy what they want us to buy and have sex like they want us to have sex and look like they want us to look. And then, a world once filled with genuine, robust beauty and genuinely mysterious women is suddenly filled with plastic, oil and look-a-like female drones attached to their Prada and phones because someone on some ad for some thing whispered, “This is what you need in order to be truly happy.” And it’s hard to find a woman without the glow of a screen reflecting from her face.

And a man never completely forgets his wedding day, what he once considered elegant and alluring, he just chooses to misplace the memory from time to time. And it’s just so easy to buy-in to what he’s told by talking heads and magazines and internet gurus, that women are beautiful if this and if that and if nothing else other than. And after a while he loses his young, cunning mind to apathy and lust and the pursuit of control, unwilling to observe who he has become or where the mysteriousness of life has gone. He chose consumption over creativity, porn over freedom, the web over reality. He traded thinking for entertainment, self-depreciation and envy for a pixelated world where love is but an image, a trendy to suit to wear then disregard. And it’s hard to find a man without the glow of a screen reflecting from his face. And surely, Thoreau, men really have become the tools of their tools.

* * *

“Where should we go today?” she whispered to me from her side of the bed, eyes closed, white sheet pulled up above her chin, face melting into the pillow beneath it.

And I could scarcely tell the difference between the softness of our sheets and the softness of her skin as my fingers traced the outline of her arm.

“I want to see the country and taste the wine of the land and feel the ocean breeze paint color on my cheeks and watch the green moss grow between my muddy toes,” she said through an irresistible smile and wrinkle of her nose.

I opened my eyes and agreed with her. “That’s exactly what we should do today,” I replied. “Right after coffee, of course.”

“Of course,” she answered. And she held me in her arms the way the ocean holds salt, the way the sky holds stars, the way coffee holds cream.

* * *

And she sat in the passenger seat beside me, quietly raving about the silty, turquoise hew of the valley below us, and I could see to the depths of her intrigue, a layered mystery as viewable yet unknowable as the stars above. And I was quite alright. And with every conversation, every mysterious blink of her deep, neon-green eyes, I swam further and further into the wonder of her self. And she was beautiful. And she still is.

Criteria for creating life altering art requires mentally stepping out of and away from the pattern of the typically acceptable and falsely satisfying status quo. To create, one must see beyond the pattern of normality’s pending twists and turns, but, even more importantly, see the pattern for what it intrinsically is, mentally moving away to view it from a distance with fresh vantage and unfamiliar angle.

This creativity, effected by transformation of the mind away from the pattern of the world, is deeply dependent upon our ability to step back from the pattern without actually leaving the pattern. This is a struggle for many. We want to be transformed, different, artistically set apart, and, at the same time, we selfishly desire separation from those not agreeing with our creativity or willingly surrendered to our own values and world view. This is not characteristic of real transformation. The challenge rests in mentally stepping back and accurately establishing the tendencies of existing conditions and standings while ultimately remaining authentically engaged with the pattern itself. Transformation is crucial to the understanding of our path, and transformation is rooted in the mind, accomplished not through rigorous self-depreciation or discipline but through something more than words could ever explain.

On the path of transformation, the tendency can be to completely remove one’s self from the pattern, no longer threaded in with everyone else, no longer intricately woven into the abused, multi-colored, dirty, hurting rug. We choose instead to be pulled out–a single thread, blown and tossed about–alone and slinky without relationship to other threads, unraveled from the chaotic beauty and entrancing messiness of sharing life together. Transformation is not a call to separate from the rug. It’s not an allowance to congregate solely with like threads of same color and cleanliness. It’s not permission to disassociate from the fray. Instead, transformation allows us to see the rug and ourselves for what they truly are. We no longer live of, yet we are still very in.

Genuine discovery and transformation will not move us to creative separation. Instead, it will guide us to creative, relational architecture–seeing the pattern for what it actually is, loving creatively, and compassionately caring for those threaded parallel and perpendicular to us every moment of every day.

What if we saw everyone (everyone!) as equal?  What if there were no longer two groups categorized as those that are in need and those that are able to fill the need?  Instead, there would be just one single group:  those that are in need.  

As visionaries we see ourselves as those who can create in order to fulfill a specific need.  We can quickly pick out those that are in desperate need of something that we can offer or build.   We are quick to visualize what it is that certain niches need right now, and what it is that they will need in the future.  There is great opportunity for the man or woman or group or company that can think in this manner and act accordingly.  But, let us never forget that in all truthfulness we are all in need.  There is not a single person alive who is not in need of something or someone.  That is why being a visionary is so important and so practical.  You can meet the needs of any number and type of people.  No group is secluded.  Everyone has needs.  Everyone including you.  So many times we approach a person who is obviously in need as just that, a needy person.  Don’t do it.  Remember, you have needs to.  They may not be as obvious to others, but you have them, and deep down you are well aware of them.  Approach people with authenticity, openness and a willingness to share your needs with others as you likewise take on theirs.  This will build a foundation of trust and communication that will serve you, your company, your marriage and friendships quite well for the rest of your life.

•  We all have needs.  Don’t approach someone or some group because you only see them as needy.  Approach them because you want to share in their needs and because you recognize needs in your own life.
• Be willing to openly share your needs.  If people know that you are in it together, trust and communication can form.  You want to sell?  First, you must sell who you are, authentically.
•  Remember (remember Parke!), see everyone as equal.  No man or woman is better than the next.  Show appreciation for every client no matter what their position.  If you approach everyone equally, willingly sharing your needs, they may in all actuality be able to help you meet your needs at the same time you are helping them meet theirs.  
• There is opportunity everywhere.

Today we live in a world that is intricately yet not intimately connected.  In the midst of all the social networking, business networking, blog posting, facebook messaging, text messaging, calling and twittering, don’t forget to develop and strengthen those relationships that mean the most to you.  Yes, networking and marketing are important.  They are a vital part of business and life as we know it.  Yet, encountering people in a deeper and more meaningful way is what life is truly all about.  Genuine, authentic relationships are many times rare.  If you have only one or if you have many, care for and nourish them with the greatest attention to detail.  The Tweak for the Weak (2) this week is for those of us who probably spend a little too much time in search of information or new knowledge.  Remember, the reason we strive to be visionaries is because we strive for freedom from those things which would normally bind us.  Do not let casual busyness get in the way of your intimate relationships.  Invest mostly in what is most important: your loving relationships with others whom you are closest to.