My wife signs her letters to me,

With More Love Than You Can Imagine,

Quinn.

I wonder sometimes how she loves so deeply. There are no logical explanations for her love; no cognitive reasons to account for her compassion. Outwardly, I have very little of anything of great significance to counteract my reconstructed, disfigured heart. There’s no gleaming band-aid to cover the torn fabric of my past; no fine silk to patch my jagged cracks or golden glue to repair my frayed edges. A self-possessed mess I was. A grace dependent mess I am. Young and overly restless, inexperienced and developing in love, aggressively competitive and plagued by pride. I’m lacking in excess cash and tanned Hollywood looks. Everything I own has been given to me, and my pursuit is not for more.

My shoes don’t shine. I’m not a corporate, career-driven man or charismatic, flashy leader. I can’t buy diamonds for her ears, pearls for her wrist, or Italian leather for her belongings. I can’t guarantee her a life of comfort, a white picket fence, or a path of ease. Lennon said, “You can’t buy me love”, and he was right, I certainly can’t buy hers.

The crazy thing is that she understood this from the beginning, and still she chose to love me…

Love is often challenging. Many times the potent side effects associated with loving imperfect people cause explosive, destructive agony. Many of us have been dragged to the brink by what we thought was love. We watched as it packed its bags, loaded the car, and drove away into the night. We observed, through teary eyes, as what was supposed to be love abused us with words and brute strength, betrayed us, or found solace in another man’s bed, another woman’s arms. Our corrupt security in human love raped us, tortured us, sold us into slavery, neglected us, starved us, and stole from us. We experienced so called love and determined it was no longer appropriate to consider; no longer a part of our plan; no longer necessary.

You won’t find these all too common side effects of imperfect love floating around the writers room at Hallmark. You won’t find tension and brokenness wrapped in pink, plastic foil; squeezed into heart shaped containers; and exchanged for dollars and cents. You won’t find these images of broken love embroidered on cuddly teddy bears or typed on red, helium-filled balloons. Real love doesn’t smell like roses, taste like cherries, or look like a Pinot Noir picnic by the lake at sunset. They don’t sell real-life love at your local drug store, stashed away between milk chocolates and cheap, sparkling wine.

And the baffling thing is that love consistently carries beyond the pain, beyond our flawed impressions, and beyond what we thought we could never move past…

There are times when standing on our own strength is–as the heaviness of love gently presses in–impossible. There are times when Love is almost too wide to conceive, too deep to grasp, and too long to gaze upon. In the midst of pain or joy alike, we long for hearts capable of comprehending and embracing love in all its fullness and truth.

Another famous John wrote, “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence…There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” The more I learn about love the less I’m able to persuade myself to live with fear. I find it resoundingly interesting that pure, perfect love cannot coexist with enslavement to fear. That in the attempt to genuinely love, my life will likewise rid itself of obeying a spirit of fear. The opposite of love may be defined as hate, but our hate is usually rooted in something far more fierce–fear.

My love for my wife, no matter how strong or intentional it may be, will never be pure or perfect enough to alleviate her life of fear, and neither will hers be for me. My love cannot deeply transform. My love cannot, on its own merit, move her to live compassionately; open her eyes to see all people as equal; and love everyone regardless of anything. My love, on its own, is not lovely enough. I know that my wife is able to love me in spite of my flaws because her love is rooted in another Love that is exponentially more profound, mysterious, and perfect than my own. Her love is rooted in the One who drives out fear, who offers and freely gives perfect love, and enables her to love me and those around her more freely. The love we share has very little to do with the love that we can give to each other on our own and everything to do with the love we have received from the giver and endorser of perfectly, flawless love. Truly, it is a love that we cannot fully imagine.

Anger predictably erupts after sustained stints of anxiety, and anxiety tends to reveal itself after the accumulation of days spent worrying. Worrying, quite often, is the unfortunate by-product of fear, and fear usually grows out of fundamental, problematic issues surrounding trust.

In conclusion, if you are angry, anxious, worried or living in fear, you are probably not adequately investing your trust. You are misplacing your trust.

Hope and fear both believe that something which has not yet occurred is going to happen. You either live in peace with hope or you live in fear without. Choose wisely.

Ever get inundated with the future?  The future is a complex, not to mention unforeseeable, concept.  A lot of people spend a lot of time and get paid a lot of money trying to get to the future before anyone else.  

The fastest one to the future wins (apparently).  She who can perceive what it is that we will want or need 2 years from now will benefit more then the one who can only see what we want or need right now.  The future (apparently) belongs to those who can see needs that most of us don’t even realize we have.  They meet needs that exist but that the majority of people are completely unaware of.  Project developers, marketers, entrepreneurs, scientists and inventors all work under this premise.  Create something that people don’t even realize they need (or want), and then give it to them just in the nick of time.  It doesn’t have to be a completely new something.  An improved something usually works just fine.  The future is where the most progressive imaginations are headed.  However, the most mature and advanced visionaries are living in the present moment.  

Why?

There is a fundamental characteristic of all great visionaries that has been there all along but is only now beginning to slowly reveal itself as one of the most crucial aspects.  Visionaries do not live or make decisions based on fear.  They have the ability and the courage to not make decisions based on what others think.  They don’t fear the opinion or critique of others.  Living too far into the future makes us especially vulnerable to fear.  If I do this, others will think that.  If I don’t do that, others will think this.  I can’t make that choice, what will so-and-so think of me.  My family will call me crazy if I do that in the future.  What will the neighbors think if I do that!?  If we live too far advanced in time, too detached from the present moment, we open ourselves up to fear, giving it a greater hold in our minds.  Fear is best tamed and defeated by embracing the moment–by acting NOW.  If we act now, the mind doesn’t have enough time to fear or to come up with a list of people we may or may not disappoint if we do what we believe we should.  We simply act, and the heart grows stronger and more courageous.  

Many of the greatest visionaries who will have the most tremendous impact on our culture in the future are already there, creating and improving life for us all before we ever even get there.  But, they are not acting in the future.  They are acting right now, creating away, step-by-step, until eventually their threshold is breached, and their future vision aligns with our present desire.  It can happen to anyone.  It can happen to you, but fear cannot be allowed to be an active part of the process.

Don’t miss this moment because you’re mind is distracted by the future.

Fear comes from not doing.  Inaction is the simplest formula for guaranteeing that you will live a life of fear.  If you choose not to do what it is that you know or think you should do or believe you should do, than you choose to live a life of fear.  As fear is built by not doing; it is also cured by doing.  If you act on a thought or put into action an idea, no matter how small, confidence is restored.  Take action to build confidence and fight off fear.  Be a person who does not live in fear.  Be a person who is known as someone who will take action.  

Let’s face it, if you’re thinking about it, it must be important.  Is this applicable across the board?  Probably not.  But, for the most part, if your mind is constantly going back to a certain task or idea or opportunity, then some sort of follow up and follow through action needs to be taken.  You need to explore your own thoughts by acting on them by at least taking some sort of initial step.  

1. If you are constantly thinking about a task or pondering an idea, than it is probably important to you.  Take some sort of initial step to cure your mind of constantly being bogged down with the same mental pattern.  It is hard to stop thinking about a task that is important to you unless you do the task and allow your mind to be put to rest, to move on.
2. Over-thinking leads to inaction.  Don’t over-think anything.  Being too cautious is hardly ever a good thing.
3. Taking action cures fear and builds confidence.  

The Bond movies have always been somewhat, shall I say, inspirational.  There is something deeply motivating about watching Bond maneuver through life without the slightest hint of hesitation.  He takes each day, all the complicated, dangerous and deadly tasks that it will surely hold, and he attacks.  Bond is given an assignment, and he works tirelessly, all around the world, until the task is accomplished.  He will stop at nothing, will let no one get in his way, until he is successful.   The Bond character trait that comes through most clearly in Quantum of Solace is his uncanny ability to pursue what he knows is true and right in spite of heavy opposition from everyone around him.  He knows what he has to do.  He has an ultimate plan of attack.  He is unafraid of any opposition or enemy.  He goes out, successfully accomplishes what must be done, and is unaffected by outside hindrance or distraction.  Even when those closest to him turn their trust towards others, he continues to go after what he believes is genuine and worthy of pursuit.  Today, live life without attention to negative distractions.  Do not let others dictate your path. Here are the steps:

1. Attack life!  Do not sit back and let others tell you how to live YOUR life.
2. Set the goal, see the dream, realize the plan and GO pursue it until successful.
3. Do not get distracted by opposition.  If you believe that what you chase is worthy, just, right and true, don’t let anyone push or pull you off track.
4. Do not give in to fear.