Before You Name Your Kids…
…take into consideration global networking, the Internet, and scarcity.
We actively observe–every day–as the ways in which we communicate, connect and work, continually transition, thus transforming life as we currently know it. For us, this change is becoming a way of life. We adapt and conform in order to make the most of this global networking transformation. Our children, on the other hand, will not have time to adapt and conform. They will just be in it, no conforming necessary. They will be born into a world that is both very expansive and at the same time extremely small and accessible. They will be globally connected from the moment they are born, and this aspect will be a natural part of their every day life.
So, give them a break–a head start, so to say.
My name was never highly ridiculed (I wasn’t one to take other kids’ harsh words to heart anyhow), but I do remember such comments as: “Go park your car Parke!” or “free parking today, eh Parke?”. Ha Ha. More than anything my name has been misspelled or mispronounced. Most people leave the ’e’ off of the end, or they just can’t seem to say my name correctly. They come close but don’t quite make it. Example: The night before my wedding, during the rehearsal party, the lead singer of the band we hired proclaimed from on stage that “this one goes out to Part!” Tragic, eh? Here’s another: My now Father-in-Law called me Clark for at least the first 4 months of my dating relationship with his daughter–now my wife–still his daughter. Again, tragic, but well worth it because he let me marry his daughter. Ha!
Okay, so what’s the point Parkay?…I mean Part…I mean Parker…I mean…Parke!
The point is this: New kids will need new names that give them exclusivity. They will need a scarce yet still memorable name that gives them automatic #1 coverage on Google, Yahoo, Digg, Twitter, Facebook, or whatever other new search engine or social network that may be available at that time. Think SEO not great, great, great, great grandma when you name that tiny, kicking, floating blob with its rapid heart beat and squishy brain.
Trust me. Your kid will thank you.
PS The name is just a head start. In order to genuinely stand out they’ll have to be spectacular. I’ll leave that foundation up to you to form.
5 Comments
Though “search engine” probably wasn’t even a phrase when I was born, my parents did me an unintentional favor for my SEO by naming me something unique. I’m a communications & marketing person, quite involved in social media, so I appreciate exclusivity, and am proud of my rare name.
Unfortunately, I discovered through a Google Alert last week that there’s now a baby in America with my name! I joked to my wife that, like Highlander, “there can be only one!”
Have you found anyone else with your name? It’s a strange feeling.
In the south, everyone thought it was hilarious to say “Andy Griffith”. “Hey! Are you Andy Griffith? A-huk-huk-huk”
“Yes, very clever. I am Andy Griffith. How’d you know?”
I was lucky enough to have a first name that’s very uncommon West of Germany, combined with a last name that’s more common, but still rare enough to make the combination almost unique on the internet…
I say almost, because until I created a couple websites and gained a better SE ranking, the first link to come up under my name on the English speaking web was consistently a homonym who immigrated to the United States from Russia in 1923, and happened to be listed on the Ellis Island public records website.
Of course, the Internet didn’t exist when i was born, but it is definitely something to take into consideration nowadays.
I couldn’t agree more. It might sound silly at first, but it’s a great point a view.
Loved your blog, it’s on my RSS reader now.
Cheers from Brazil!
Hey, nice tips. Perhaps I’ll buy a glass of beer to the man from that forum who told me to visit your blog :)